Then-THE BACK PROBLEM HIT.
While on afore mentioned vacation this last weekend, my husband's back decided to cause some issues. He's had back problems off and on for the last 5 years, but this was the worst it had ever been. Intense pain was shooting down his left side, leaving him unable to walk or even sit. I spent half my vacation in the Emergency Room, running back and forth to Walgreens for medication, and then keeping my two kids busy while trying to do everything I could to make him comfortable. His pain hasn't let up this whole week! Today he had a shot in the middle of his back to hopefully solve the problem, but it could take 3-5 additional days before he'll be able to walk again. As a result my poor husband is confined to our bed, barely able to stand long enough to get in a 2 minute shower.
So! This week I've traded my dreams of craft projects, Ikea trips, and organizing for the single mom role. All cooking, child care duties, cleaning, and nursing my hubby have fallen to me. I'm sure some of you are reading this thinking, "Big Whoop! I've done that and worse!" You're probably right. But I wanted to say, I have a such a respect for single moms, or even mommies who have kids and also take care of another adult family member. And when you throw in a job with that! I don't know how you do it, or where you get your strength. But I have an assignment for you.
Stand in front of a mirror. Are you there? Now, look at your reflection and say, "I.AM.AWESOME. No really, I am a full-blown rockstar. I do amazing things."
Did you say it? Do you honestly know how amazing you are? This week I've had moments when I was almost too busy to read to my little girl, or almost too tired to read our scriptures, or in such a hurry I almost forgot to bless our meal. And each time I gather up my strength, take a deep breath, and think about all the single moms doing the same thing. You women have given me strength this week.
I know my situation isn't permanent, so I hope I don't come across as thinking I know what any of you go through. All I want to say is, thank you for your example. You are a true life hero.
XOXO
Brooke
Thank you for this post. Those were very kind words. I don't know how other single mom's feel, but I know for me, I would feel so disingenuous looking at myself and saying those things. I have never felt like a...(can I even say the word?)...hero. No, most of the time I feel like I am simply doing what is necessary and the ONLY force waking my body up at 5:30 a.m. everyday, feeding my kids, remembering family scripture and prayer, keeping me awake in class, helping kids with homework, fitting 20 minutes daily reading for every school kid, keeping the house clean enough to live in, stocking the cupboards, folding the laundry, preparing lessons for church, remembering SEP's, writing papers, getting kids to soccer/basketball/swimming/scouts, etc.... and NOT turning into a monster mother, is the Grace of God. Pure and simple. I could never make it through a day without His hand in my life. Thank you so much for your encouraging words. But if I may, I think for now, I will just tell my Father in Heaven those things tonight:) Because HE. IS. AWESOME.
ReplyDeleteOh JulieAnn! Thank you so much for that comment. I got teary-eyed! Love what you said, and totally agree with you. Although, if I may be so bold, I now respect you 10x more. You are officially a hero in my book. (I'm sure your kiddos would agree.) Heavenly Father is behind every hero-it's a combination of a Higher help, and an amazing person. Keep it up! You are an inspiration. xo
ReplyDeleteGreat insight, i've been thinking about moms with children with special needs. my son just had surgery and he cant even function very well, nor sleep or eat without help. my heart goes out to all those who tend for family members in need.
ReplyDeletesorry for the mispellings im typing with just one hand as i hold my son with the other.
i love mercy river
Not sure what kinds of back problems your husband has, but my Dad has had back problems most of his life. He found out while in physical therapy that if he strengthened his hamstrings, his back problems went away. Thought I'd pass on that life saver to you.
ReplyDeleteThanks for this blog post. Just happened to read it this morning. I dropped my son off this morning at kindergarten with tears streaming down his face. It was a rough morning for both of us. I often struggle with the fact that my son gets no downtime, going to kindergarten at 8, then off to daycare, where I pick him up at 5:30. He's usually so tired by that point that we fit in 5 minutes of homework and he often is not in the mood for dinner let alone family home evening or scripture study, just bed. Anyway, this morning I decided to let him play video games for a bit so he could experience some downtime, which he desperately needs. By the end of the morning we were both crying because we ended up late, he ended up with very little breakfast and rejected the string cheese I offered him to help get him through until lunch, and I forgot his jacket. I drove away from his kindergarten with him standing there with tears streaming down his face. I couldn't go back and comfort him because I had to make it to work so I can keep a job which I was already 15 minutes late for. So, "awesome" and "hero" are the last words I am thinking of this morning. I often pray that my "best" is good enough and that my son can forgive me for those many daily shortcomings where I can't give him everything he needs. Most days, I miss my boy and wish I could be just a mom for a day and not everything else too. But, in the end, I know we are incredibly blessed and it is through my Father in Heaven that I gain the strength to do it all again the next day.
ReplyDelete